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User:JMiller25/Rickettsia rickettsii/MESunflower Peer Review

< User:JMiller25 | Rickettsia rickettsii

General info

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Whose work are you reviewing?

JMiller25

Link to draft you're reviewing
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Rickettsia_rickettsii&oldid=1248807604
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes

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(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I first read through "Metabolic Pathways" and I believe that this topic is written very well. It has enough detail to be informative, but not so much that it would be impossible to follow for non-biologists. I like that it describes terms that may be unfamiliar to some readers, as that will aid in understanding the material. The description of which metabolic pathway is available to the microbe now and the expansion on how it got to this place is very well done. The only part I feel was not entirely clear was the last sentence when it says, "... R. rickettsii largely dependent on a range of transport systems to harvest..." I do not understand based on this paragraph what "range" refers to. If you list examples of what this sentence refers to and/or elaborate on what it means, I think that could be beneficial to this section of the article.

The "Carbon, Lipids, Peptidoglycan, and Small Molecules" has some great information, but I think the flow could be improved. While the descriptions of each component are relatively simple to understand, it is not fully clear to me why they are grouped together. I guess I am wondering how they connect; what is the significance in having these four components in the same section? I think it would assist in the readability and comprehension of this section if the information about the 4 components were connected, rather than stand alone sentences. The second paragraph does a good job of reinforcing the microbes reliance on the TCA cycle and describing why they rely on imports from their host. Overall, I think this section is great, but a small tune-up could elevate reader understanding immensely.

Overall, I think that the "Signs and Symptoms" section is incredibly well done. I like that the organization of information progresses with the disease, such that people read about the early signs and symptoms before they learn about the more extreme cases and final stages. I like the inclusion of the statistic in paragraph 2, I believe they add a lot to an article, particularly when talking about disease in humans. I did notice that there is not a reference cited immediately after that sentence, so I skimmed the closest other source (11) and did not see that statistic listed. I could have missed it, but I would double check that you know where that information was found and that it is cited properly. Also in paragraph 2, I think the last sentence's wording could be improved. Maybe instead of "take on a more darkened reddish purple spotted appearance, signifying severe disease" it could say something like "may appear darker with reddish-purple spots, which indicates a more severe stage of the disease."

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