“很慢的”塞林格（附《麦田里的守望者》经典语录）

因为豆瓣把我的一篇只有摘录的帖子给转移了，说它不是评论文章，所以担心这篇也被转移，就决定加一些话。 我读塞林格最大的一个感受其实是，慢。这样说似乎很奇怪，因为这就像在说侯孝贤一样。然而塞林格的确是慢的，一本《麦田里的守望者》，经历的时间不过是三天，包括《九故事》和其它一些他的小说里，每一个动作总是特别细致，像是一本装了慢放软件的书。然而这种塞林格式的细腻实在令人着迷。他对那种有原因，有结尾，甚至有明显教育意义或者趣味趋向的故事一点也不感兴趣，觉得那是为了“低三下四地迎合别人的浮躁品味”。他把一切都放慢，是想让你认真仔细地进入和感受生活的每一个小动作，让你感到小说的真正意义所在。 一本长篇小说，发生的事情只有三天，它没有让你睡着，反而为之疯狂；他一直在“跑题”，扯这又扯那，不会让你觉得不知所云，反而不断地重温、背诵，甚至模仿这个经典。塞林格是很有魅力的。 我想，塞林格是一个真正的小说家，或者一点也不夸张地说，他比很多作家要纯粹地多。从他一直以来的写作（每天坚持写作，然而在1965年之后就不再发表作品），从他的生活（获得成功后便逃离纽约，开始隐居，1980年后不再接受任何采访），他的固执（他说“一个作家的面孔应永不为人所知”并决不公开露面）就可以看出他对写作的忠诚度。 塞林格的慢几乎让我们不自觉地去当他小说的主人公，因为如此细致，与生活节奏简直相当。每个人都成为了霍尔顿，我突然明白了为什么刺杀约翰列侬的查普曼会在行刺之后捧着一本《麦田里的守望者》读起来。 在《麦田里的守望者》里，塞林格笔下的霍尔顿考尔菲尔德（这个名字真好听，我真想多重复几遍）很难被归类。他跟嬉皮士是不一样的，他有对性的犹疑和恐惧，他还不想堕落，他还希望拯救，他还喜欢美好的事情，他愤世嫉俗的结果更多的不是自甘堕落，而是一种奇怪的渴望。他会害怕，沮丧，无助，实际上，他是个弱者。他不是传统意义上的好孩子，原因是他坚持一些真善美的东西，坚持他自己，说得肉麻一点，他出淤泥而不染。他不属于任何一类人，虽然他跟很多类型的人又很相似，但最终他还是只属于他自己，他还是有着自己最独特的东西，以及最独特的愿望。 很多时候，霍尔顿说不清道理来，比如说小菲比问他喜欢什么，想做什么，他说他喜欢死去的艾里，想做麦田里的守望者。他总觉得自己的答案很离谱，但他还就是那样想的，而且他只坚信这一点，然而正是这样他才更可爱。 《麦田里的守望者》里，最让人心动的是他的妹妹菲比考尓菲尔德。只有看到小菲比的时候，霍尔顿才那么少有的开心；也只有在小菲比面前，霍尔顿才突然就哭了出来；只有小菲比能改变他的出游计划，小菲比是霍尔顿心里最美丽的东西。也是他想在麦田里抓住的那些美丽的小孩代表。哥哥霍尔顿静静地站在雨中看着小菲比在木马上转来转去的那一幕，堪称经典。 写《麦田里的守望者》的塞林格今年90岁了，还是那么固执。中译本要出来的时候，他还告知“封面上不能有任何插图，不能有除了书名、作者名和译者名之外的任何其他文字，不能有“译者前言”、“译后记”之类的文字。”是个可爱透顶的老顽童。也许因为他的固执，他的长寿一点也不奇怪。他曾经说过人的自然寿命是120岁，而他就要活到这个年龄，现在又听说，他自信能活到140岁了。 All those Ivy League bastards look alike. My father wants me to go to Yale, or maybe Princeton, but I swear, I wouldn’t go to one of those Ivy League colleges if I was dying, for God’s sake. 那些常春藤盟校的混蛋都长一个样。我爸想让我进耶鲁，或者是普林斯顿，但我就算死掉也不去任何一间常春藤盟校，妈的。 The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has. 学校越贵，小偷越多。 I don’t like to see old guys in their pajamas and bathrobes anyway. Their bumpy old chests are always showing. 我不喜欢看见那些老家伙穿着睡衣套着浴巾，他们坑坑洼洼的胸膛老是露出来。 He also started picking his nose. He made out like he was only pinching it, but he was really getting the old thumb right in there. 他开始抠鼻孔。他搞的好像他只是在掐鼻子似的，但他实际上把大拇指伸进里边去了。 Where I have my hand on your back, if I think there isn’t anything underneath my hand- no can, no legs, no feet, no anything- then the girls’ really a terrific dancer. 如果我把手放在你的后背上，我觉得我手下面什么都没有——没屁股，没腿，没脚，什么都没有——那你就是伟大的舞蹈家了。 I swear to God. If I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I’d hate it. I wouldn’t even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things. If I was a piano player, I’d play it in the goddamn closet…In a funny way, though, I felt sort of sorry when he was finished. I don’t even think he knows any more when he’s playing right or not. It isn’t all his fault, I partly blame all those dopes that clap their heads off—they’d foul up anybody, if you gave them a chance. 我向上帝发誓。如果我是个钢琴家或者演员或者什么别的，那些傻蛋又觉得我很厉害，我会痛恨这些的。我根本都不想让他们为我鼓掌。人们老是鼓错掌。如果我是个钢琴家，我会在他妈的柜子里弹。说起来还真有点可笑，他弹完之后我都有点为他感到遗憾。我都不觉得他对他自己弹的好不好有什么把握。这不能怪他，我觉得那帮拼命鼓掌的傻蛋才要负些责任——如果他们有机会，就能把所有人都毁掉。 A woman’s body is like a violin and all, and that it takes a terrific musician to play it right. 女人的身体就像一个小提琴什么的，得有个出色的音乐家来演奏才行。 For instance, if you’re at a girl’s house, her parents always come home at the wrong time—or you’re afraid they will. 比如说，你在一个女孩家里，她爸妈回来的时间就老不对——或者你会对这一点总是担惊受怕。 If somebody knows quite a lot about those things, it takes you quite a while to find out whether they’re really stupid or not. 如果一个人对那种事懂挺多，你要发现他是不是蠢货还得花点时间。 If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late? 如果一个漂亮女孩来见你，谁他妈关心她迟没迟到？ These intellectual guys don’t like to have an intellectual conversation with you unless they’re running the whole thing. 除非他们自己掌控局面，这些高智商的人都不想跟你进行高智商对话。 I didn’t have anything else to do, so I kept sitting on the radiator and counting these little white squares on the floor. 我没别的事做，就继续坐在暖气上数地上的小白格子。 That killed me. Her middle name is Josephine, for God’s sake, not Weatherfield. She doesn’t like it, though. Every time I see her she’s got a new middle name for herself…Old Phoebe said something then, but I couldn’t hear her. She had the side of her mouth right smack on the pillow, and I couldn’t hear her. 笑死我了。她的中间名叫约瑟芬，搞没搞错，不是韦瑟菲尔德。不过她不喜欢自己的中间名。每次我见她，她都给自己取一个新的中间名……菲比丫头说了些话，不过我听不见。她的嘴堵在枕头上了，我听不见她说话。 I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around—nobody big, I mean, except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be. I know it’s crazy. 我一直在脑子里想像很多小孩在麦田地什么的玩游戏。有几千个小孩，没别的—没别的大人，我是说，除我之外。我就站在这破悬崖边上，我要做的，就是抓住每一个跑向悬崖的孩子——我是说他们不看方向的话，我就得从哪出来把他们抓住。我就整天干这种事。我就当个麦田守望者得了吧。我知道这很疯，但这是唯一一件我想做的事了。我知道这很疯。 People are mostly hot to have a discussion when you’re not. 当你无精打采的时候，人们总是会说到兴头上。 “I thought the carrousel was closed in the wintertime,” old phoebe said. It was the first time she practically said anything. She probably forgot she was supposed to be sore at me. “Maybe because it’s around Christmas,” I said. She didn’t say anything when I said that. She probably remembered she was supposed to be sore at me. “我以为旋转木马在冬天就不开了呢，”菲比丫头说。这是她第一次真正对我说点话。她大概忘了她在生我的气。 “可能是因为圣诞快到了吧。”我说。 她不说话了。她大概记起来她在生我的气了。 I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something, they’d have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over me…I’d build me a little cabin somewhere with the dough I made and live there for the rest of my life… I’d have this rule that nobody could do anything phony when they visited me. If anybody tried to do anything phony, they couldn’t stay. 我觉得我要做的是，我要假装是聋哑人。这样的话我就不用跟别人进行什么破对话了。如果别人想告诉我点事，他们就得写在一张纸上给我……我要赚钱建一个自己的小木屋，余生就在那度过……我要定个规矩，谁都不能在这做什么虚伪的事，谁要做谁就滚。 It’s full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac some day, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day, and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques. 学校里全是伪君子，你要做的就是好好学习学有所成之后买辆他妈的凯迪拉克。然后他们让你觉得足球队输了你得表示伤心，你要做的就是整天聊女孩，酒还有性。每个人都在肮脏的小范围里天天混在一起。 I’m always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. 我经常要对别人说“很高兴见到你”，尽管我见到他们根本不高兴。 Some people you shouldn’t kid, even if they deserve it. 有些人是开不得玩笑的，尽管他们活该。 What I like best is a book that’s at least funny once in a while… What really knocks me out is a book that, when you’re all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. 我最喜欢的是一本书里起码有让你觉得有趣的东西……让我真正喜欢的书是这种，当你读完，你希望这作者是你一个很要好的朋友，如果你想，你可以随时给他打电话。 应byes同学的要求，特意加上木马在雨中转来转去的这段： Boy, it began to rain like a bastard. In buckets, I swear to God. All the parents and mothers and everybody went over and stood right under the roof of the carrousel, so they wouldn't get soaked to the skin or anything, but I stuck around on the bench for quite a while. I got pretty soaking wet, especially my neck and my pants. My hunting hat really gave me quite a lot of protection, in a way, but I got soaked anyway. I didn't care, though. I felt so damn happy all of a sudden, the way old Phoebe kept going around. I was damn near bawling, I felt so damn happy, if you want to know the truth. I don't know why. It was just that she looked so damn nice, the way she kept going around and around, in her blue coat and all. God, I wish you could've been there. 天哪，突然下起了大雨，下疯了，我向上帝发誓，真是倾盆大雨。父母们和别的一些人都走到旋转木马棚檐下避雨去了，免得被雨淋的浑身湿透。不过我还是在长凳上呆着。我全身都湿了，特别是我脖子和裤子。说起来，我的猎帽还真起了点躲雨作用，不过我还是湿透了。反正我不管。我突然觉得真他妈的高兴啊，看着菲比这小丫头一圈又一圈转着的。我差点想大喊大叫了，我真是太他妈高兴了，真的。我也不知道为什么。就是菲比丫头看上去太他妈讨人喜欢了，她一圈又一圈地转着，穿着蓝色大衣的样子。天哪，你要是在就好了。