Well Hello!
So you're interested in SHADO. Well I don't blame you, where else can you wear fabulous new synthetic materials, kill aliens and spend the night partying like its the 1970s?
You said that the swinging youth of the 1960s wouldn't be seen dead in the army. There was no way that you would be so square as to cut your hair, replace the tie-die flares with fatigues and cut back on the medallions.
And we listened.
Yes we've created a whole new paramilitary organisation just for the swinging generation. Why not sit back as I introduce SHADO - the coolest bunch of cats outside of the Stones. If you'll excuse me while I change into my beige jumpsuit and matching sideburn accessories... ...now let's hit the road in my SHADOmobile - notice its swooping lines, fins and gull-wing doors that make it a complete pain to park when doing the shopping at Sainsburys'. SHADOmobiles come in all sorts of fabulous colours not found in nature, including metallic brown, surgical appliance pink, ozone-eating green and a shade of yellow that just screams 'fashion'.
Neat!
Welcome to the way-out SHADO headquarters. I have privileged access thanks to my identity chest medallion. A movie studio? So you noticed our cunning disguise! Believe it or not the whole SHADO operation is run out of the basement next to the props cabinet. That room over there? Well that belongs to Commander Straker - a man well accustomed to the peroxide bottle and not too masculine to refuse a little eye shadow.
If you join us I'm sure he'll have you over for a chat, a drink or two and perhaps something else entirely. A medical? Of course there's a medical, SHADO operatives have to be at the peak of physical perfection, you just never know when you'll have to dance 'til dawn.
Let me just make one point clear. SHADO is an equal opportunities employer. We're always looking for top totty to slip into something suitably clinging.
Yes girls, SHADO needs you!
As a new recruit you will start off delivering coffee to our male leads, after you have mastered that task in regulation 9 inch heels you'll be ready to move on to moving pieces of paper from one side of the room to the other all the time looking absolutely fabulous.
At SHADO the sky is quite literally the limit for liberated women! If you master coffee delivery and paper sorting you could be shortlisted for our Moonbase which keeps a look out for intergalactic UFOs intent on spoiling the party.
Don't frown, you won't look nearly as pretty. You're probably thinking that lunar gravity will play havoc with your totally groovy haircut and you'll have to put the miniskirt in the closet. But you're forgetting - this is SHADO, where fashion comes first.
Not only will you be safe from solar flares, laser guns and alien abduction in our super-slinky silver jumpsuits, knee-high boots and metallic purple wigs but you'll be irresistible to those walking adverts for Blue Stratos - the SHADO interceptor pilots. When you're ready to cut a rug the whole ensemble converts to a silver miniskirt in moments! And remember, we don't care if you want to burn your bra - in fact it'll be an advantage.
Still not convinced about Moonbase? Well here are two words to make up your mind.
Inflatable furniture.
Seriously. It's shot like a porn movie, the stories are sometimes dreadful, acting is robotic and even the effects aren't always great. But for a slice of nostalgia back to a period when someone cut the brakecables on good taste and when restraint and decency went through the rails, down the cliffside and exploded at the bottom - UFO is completely unmissable. And Gabrielle Drake is quite stunningly beautiful, why she never became a bigger star is beyond me.
Go on, its Austin Powers versus the Martians.
