Pageboy Quotes

“In our society anger and masculinity are so intertwined—I hope to redefine that in my own life.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“I was not and had never been a part of a queer community, how to access such a thing was not just a mystery but an impossibility. The loss of which was sizable. Agony in isolation, the shame and pain that I thought was mine alone. My heart aches for my younger self. A tiny bug running to the rim of an upside-down juice glass. What a difference it would have been to sit with queer and trans pals and have them say "I feel that way, too. I felt that way, too. We don't have to feel that way. You don't have to feel that way.". Not a magic eraser of shame, but it would have undoubtedly quickened things up.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“We do not realize the extent of the energy we are losing until we find where it is seeping from.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“I am evolved as I freed myself from the expectations of others. These memories shape a nonlinear narrative, because queerness is intrinsically nonlinear, journeys that bend and wind. Two steps forward, one step back.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“I’ve nothing new or profound to say, nothing that hasn’t been said before, but I know books have helped me, saved me even, so perhaps this can help someone feel less alone, seen, no matter who they are or what journey they are on. Thank you for wanting to read about mine.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“Hollywood is built on leveraging queerness. Tucking it away when needed, pulling it out when beneficial, while patting themselves on the back. Hollywood doesn’t lead the way, it responds, it follows, slowly and far behind. The depth of that closet, the trove of secrets buried, indifferent to the consequences. I was punished for being queer while I watched others be protected and celebrated, who gleefully abused people in the wide open.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“Let me just exist with you, happier than ever.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“I’ve spent much of my life chipping away toward the truth, while terrified to cause a collapse.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“My imagination was a lifeline. It was where I felt the most unrestrained, unselfconscious, real. Not a visualization, far more natural. Not a wishing, but an understanding. When I was present with myself, I knew, without exception. I saw with startling clarity then. I miss that.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“Her visibility meant the world to me. I think about this as I walk through the world now.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“How do people do it? How do they shut off the noise? And I don't mean "happy", they may not be happy, but they seem to be able to exist at least.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“Those were some of the best times of my life...traveling to another dimension where I was...me. And not just a boy but a man, a man who could fall in love and be loved back. Why do we lose that ability? To create a whole world? A bunk bed was a kingdom, I was a boy.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“I don’t want to disappear. I want to exist in my body, with these new possibilities. Possibilities. Perhaps that is one of the main components of life lost to lack of representation. Options erased from the imagination. Narratives indoctrinated that we spend an eternity attempting to break. The unraveling is painful, but it leads you to you.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“I could block myself out, I was a person I didn't know, I'd gaze into what felt like the universe, my eye a planet of its own. I must be somewhere in there, I'd think.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“I had to be isolated, I had to not be something to someone or someone to something. I'd exhausted myself, trying with all of me to figure out what was wrong, running from one place to the next, fooling myself into thinking I could find it. But the answer was in the silence, the answer would only come when I chose to listen.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“Too many times those who were supposed to protect me did nothing, or if anything, only furthered my silence.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“In a world where queerness all too often alienates us from blood, I am grateful to Julia, and the family I have chosen. Without them, I wouldn't be here.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“The OLD NAVY sign seduced my mother like a moth to a dwindling gas lantern.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“It often seems like more people step forward to defend being unkind than they do to support trans people as we deal with an onslaught of cruelty and violence.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“The closet was grueling, it suffocated me. Stewing in my shame, exhausted, lonely, and depressed, I wished to be the person so many wanted me to be. It felt like the only option.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“A never-ending exercise in empathy, opening the heart, hoping it all sinks in, waiting for that release of emotion.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“Even though I am extremely lucky, this narrative where trans people have to feel lucky for these crumbs-that we fought hard for and still fight for-is perverse and manipulative. Here is the thing-I almost did not make it, the permanent emptiness, a mystery I would never solve. Incessant, without language, a depth of despair...I should not have to grovel with gratitude. Am I grateful? Fuck, yeah! But everyone should have access to gender-affirming health care and lifesaving health care. It just should be.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“Loneliness had always been a staple for me, an inherent disconnect from my surroundings, a foundational dissociation. Lured away from my existence, I thought those around me wanted me to disappear—that I was preferred as an illusion.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“Shame had been drilled into my bones since I was my tiniest self, and I struggled to rid my body of that old toxic and erosive marrow.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“It is not as easy to forgive my father. I’m going to come to Toronto and kick your ass. When his kid needed safety, when his kid needed love, when his kid needed protection, he threatened violence. Outraged because I had the audacity to communicate with an older man on the internet when I was a minor. If I didn’t deserve care in that moment, if I didn’t deserve safety and love, when would I ever? That sentence has lived in my body much longer than the man’s threats, his obsession, his fingers fondling my arm.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be,”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“I know books have helped me, saved me even, so perhaps this can help someone feel less alone, seen, no matter who they are or what journey they are on.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“Why do we lose that ability? To create a whole world? A bunk bed was a kingdom, I was a boy.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy

“Writing a book has come up a few times over the years, but it never felt right and, quite frankly, it didn’t feel possible. I could barely sit down, let alone be still long enough to complete such a task. My brain’s energy was being wasted, a ceaseless drip attempting to conceal and control my discomfort. But now is different. New. At last, I can sit with myself, in this body, present—typing for hours, my dog, Mo, lounging in the sun, my back straighter, my mind quieter.”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir

“I often wonder if I have actually experienced deep love. I feel as though I have, but is it real if you were never there?”
― Elliot Page, Pageboy: A Memoir