The Wee Free Men Quotes

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.”
“Will it cost me anything?”
“What? I just said it was free!” said Miss Tick.
“Yes, but my father said that free advice often turns out to be expensive,” said Tiffany.
Miss Tick sniffed. “You could say this advice is priceless,” she said, “Are you listening?”
“Yes,” said Tiffany.
“Good. Now...if you trust in yourself...”
“Yes?”
“...and believe in your dreams...”
“Yes?”
“...and follow your star...” Miss Tick went on.
“Yes?”
“...you’ll still be beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. Goodbye.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it."

"No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany’s Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine!

I have a duty!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“The secret is not to dream," she whispered. "The secret is to wake up. Waking up is harder. I have woken up and I am real. I know where I come from and I know where I'm going. You cannot fool me any more. Or touch me. Or anything that is mine.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Yes! I'm me! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don't understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I think! And I always have a piece of string! That's the kind of person I am!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“The stories never said why she was wicked. It was enough to be an old woman, enough to be all alone, enough to look strange because you have no teeth. It was enough to be called a witch. If it came to that, the book never gave you the evidence of anything. It talked about "a handsome prince"... was he really, or was it just because he was a prince that people called handsome? As for "a girl who was as beautiful as the day was long"... well, which day? In midwinter it hardly ever got light! The stories don't want you to think, they just wanted you to believe what you were told...”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. "There may be no survivors.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Whut's the plan, Rob?" said one of them.
"Okay, lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll attack it. Right?"
This caused a cheer.
"Ach, 'tis a good plan," said Daft Wullie.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Crivens!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“They think written words are even more powerful,’ whispered the toad. ‘They think all writing is magic. Words worry them. See their swords? They glow blue in the presence of lawyers.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“The thing about witchcraft," said Mistress Weatherwax, "is that it's not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterward you spend years findin' out how you passed it. It's a bit like life in that respect”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“He said it was better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“I'll never be like this again . . . I'll never again feel as tall as the sky and as old as the hills and as strong as the sea. I've been given something for a while, and the price of it is that I have to give it back.

And the reward is giving it back, too. No human could live like this. You could spend a day looking at a flower to see how wonderful it is, and that wouldn't get the milking done. No wonder we dream our way through our lives. To be awake, and see it all as it really is...no one could stand that for long.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“They didn't have to be funny — they were father jokes.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Even in a dream, even at a posh ball, the Nac Mac Feegle knew how to behave. You charged in madly, and you screamed... politely.

"Lovely weather for the time o' year, is it not, ye wee scunner!"

"Hey, jimmy, ha' ye no got a pommes frites for an ol'pal?"

"The band is playin' divinely, I dinna think!"

"Make my caviar deep-fried, wilya?”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Never cross a woman with a star on a stick, young lady. They've got a mean streak.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Now ... if you trust in yourself ... and believe in your dreams ... and follow your star ... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“The girls were expected to grow up to be somebody's wife. They were also expected to read and write, those being considered soft indoor jobs that were too fiddly for the boys.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“They can tak' oour lives but they canna tak' oour troousers!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“And what do you really do?" asked Tiffany.

The thin witch hesitated for a moment, and then: "We look to ... the edges," said Mistress Weatherwax. "There's a lot of edges, more than people know. Between life and death, this world and the next, night and day, right and wrong ... an' they need watchin'. We watch 'em, we guard the sum of things. And we never ask for any reward. That's important.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you want to happen; witches tell you what’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“And all the stories had, somewhere, the witch. The wicked old witch.
And Tiffany had thought: Where's the evidence?”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men