One False Note Quotes

“I hate France. It's like the whole country's on a diet”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“He watched in awe as she stacked up an enormous armload of music. "There," she finished, slapping Frank Zappa's Greatest Hits on top of the pile. "That should do for a start."
"You are a music lover," said the wide-eyed cashier.
"No, I'm a kleptomaniac." And she dashed out the door.
He was so utterly shocked that it took him a moment to run after her.
With a meaningful nod in the direction of the astounded Cahills, she barreled down the cobblestone street with her load.
"Fermati!" shouted the cashier, scrambling in breathless pursuit.
Nellie let a few CDs drop and watched with satisfaction over her shoulder as the clerk stopped to pick them up. The trick would be to keep the chase going just long enough for Amy and Dan to search Disco Volante.
Yikes, she reflected suddenly, I'm starting to think like a Cahill....
And if she was nuts enough to hang around this family, it was only going to get worse.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“For someone who'e smarter than a supercomputer, sometimes you're a real idiot.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“The au pair was bug-eyed. "What happened back there?"
"It's not our fault!" Dan babbled. "Those guys are crazy! They're like mini-Darth Vaders without the mask!"
"They're Benedictine monks!" Nellie exclaimed. "They're men of peace! Most of them are under vows of silence!"
"Yeah, well, not anymore," Dan told her. "They cursed us out pretty good. I don't know the language, but some things you don't have to translate.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Nellie grinned. "I always wanted to go to Venice. It's supposed to be the romance capital of the world."
"Sweet," put in Dan. "Too bad your date is an Egyptian Mau on a hunger strike."
The au pair sighed. "Better than an eleven-year-old with a big mouth.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“We didn't stow away!" Dan protested. "You sunk our boat and pulled us out of the canal!"
"Good point," Ian agreed. "Return them to the canal. Roughly, please.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“For someone who's smarter than a supercomputer, sometimes you're a real idiot.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Amy turned to Nellie. "Can you create a diversion to draw the clerk outside?"
The au pair was wary. "What kind of diversion?"
"You could pretend to be lost," Dan proposed. "The guy comes out to give you directions, and we slip inside."
"That's the most sexist idea I've ever heard," Nellie said harshly. "I'm female, so I have to be clueless. He's male, so he's got a great sense of direction."
"Maybe you're from out of town," Dan suggested. "Wait–you are from out of town."
Nellie stashed their bags under a bench and set Saladin on the seat with a stern "You're the watchcat. Anybody touches those bags, unleash your inner tiger."
The Egyptian Mau surveyed the street uncertainly. "Mrrp."
Nellie sighed. "Lucky for us there's no one around. Okay, I'm going in there. Be ready."
The clerk said something to her–probably May I help you? She smiled apologetically. "I don't speak Italian."
"Ah–you are American." His accent was heavy, but he seemed eager to please. "I will assist you." He took in her black nail polish and nose ring. "Punk, perhaps, is your enjoyment?"
"More like a punk/reggae fusion," Nellie replied thoughtfully. "With a country feel. And operatic vocals."
The clerk stared in perplexity.
Nellie began to tour the aisles, pulling out CDs left and right. "Ah–Artic Monkeys–that's what I'm talking about. And some Bad Brains–from the eighties. Foo Fighters–I'll need a couple from those guys. And don't forget Linkin Park..."
He watched in awe as she stacked up an enormous armload of music. "There," she finished, slapping Frank Zappa's Greatest Hits on top of the pile. "That should do for a start."
"You are a music lover," said the wide-eyed cashier.
"No, I'm a kleptomaniac." And she dashed out the door.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Nobody got me out," Nellie replied. "They just let me go. They think I'm a deranged Jonah Wizard fan. Apparently, the hotel's full of them. A couple of idiots actually jumped off the front balcony. Can you picture that?"
"In Technicolor," Amy said bitterly.
"That low-down KGB reject!" Dan fumed. "I can't believe she cheated me–right when I was in the middle of cheating her!”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Dan, this is crazy!" Amy quavered. "You can't drive a boat!"
"Say's who? It's no different from Xbox!"
Wham! The port-side rubber bumper at the launch's bow slammed into the end of an ancient cobblestone wharf. The small craft spun like a top, pitching Amy to the deck. Only an iron grip on the wheel saved Dan from a similar spill.
He hung on for dear life. "Okay, scratch Xbox–think bumper cars! I rock at those! Remember the carnival?”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Nellie's brow furrowed. "The great Mr. Hip-Hop Mogul standing in line with the common peasants? How do you figure that?"
Dan grinned. "I'm starting to dig this 'no cars' thing. It's a great equalizer.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Slime him, sis," Dan urged, "Make him a redcoat.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Sugar maple!" Mary-Todd Holt knelt over her husband. "Are you all right?"
Eisenhower sat up, and egg-size lump blooming on his crown. "Of course I'm all right!" he managed, his words slurred. "You think a little insect can stop me?"
Reagan was unconvinced. "I don't know, Dad. She brained you with a baseball bat!"
"Hockey stick," Dan corrected.
"Those could be your last words, brat–”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“The Janus, the Tomas, the Ekaterina, and the Lucian!”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“bladelike motion of the shoulders as she”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“On with the chase.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“It’s cat food — it’s for people like you!” Saladin”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“With a terrified yelp, the guard turned tail and ran the other way.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“He stepped over the velvet rope and seated himself at the harpsichord, cracking his knuckles with a flourish. “You’re bluffing!” Dan accused. “You”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“And then the cold muzzle of a dart gun at the back of her neck erased all other brain activity.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“you-know-who.” Amy”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Never trust a Cahill.” They”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Saladin spent the entire three-hour drive carsick. But luckily, since the cat wasn’t eating anything, he also had nothing to throw up.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“After so many reversals of fortune today, they half expected a meteorite to hurtle from the sky and vaporize them if they dared to move. Finally,”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“She was salted in the ladies’ room?”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“It had been a seven-year string of bad luck, ever since their parents died in that house fire.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“and a thick mustache calmly gestured for them to get in. Amy”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“We need Nellie and dry clothes."
Dan glared resentfully at the retreating yaht in the distance. "A grenade launcher would be nice, too.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“Amy sighed anxiously. Her brother was immature and annoying. But perhaps his most unpleasant feature was the fact that he was usually right.”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note

“It’s not our fault!” Dan babbled. “Those guys are crazy! They’re like mini–Darth Vaders without the mask!”
― Gordon Korman, One False Note