You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat is a hot mess of a novel dealing with the topics of being Palestinian-American, bisexual in a Muslim family, relatiYou Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat is a hot mess of a novel dealing with the topics of being Palestinian-American, bisexual in a Muslim family, relationship troubles, a woman, and eating disorders (anorexia).
The beginning of the book is perfect. The main character is 12 and in Palestine when men scream at her for wearing shorts. Her uncle hurries her to a store and gives her his pants. The result is quite ridiculous: she’s wearing large pants that keep rolling down, and he’s wearing... short shorts he can’t even button. But that’s OK, because he’s a man, and being a woman is the problem. Her mom just tells her “you exist too much,” and that is that.
The story is told in vignettes that tackle her life and issues with dependency on others and relationships, but also issues with her mom, her religion, her sexuality, her body, etc. I think the vignette style made the book feel very chaotic and I struggled getting a sense of what exactly we were doing in this book. It was like someone reminiscing and showing you “so this bit sucked, and this other sucked, and this was chaotic, and this was crazy.” If this had been more of a traditional novel structure I would have appreciated it more, I just had issues with understanding where I was at or seeing the bigger picture of things.
The focus on being bisexual in a Muslim family was very interesting and it was the less ‘chaotic’ of the themes. It’s also very heavy on the topic of dependency and addiction to love but I’m not sure it was worked in a way that satisfied me (she was very aware but still stuck on the same issues constantly? Idk, this may be me. I got annoyed). The one that intrigued me was, of course, the anorexia one, but that one felt very strange. I couldn’t really tell what was up, it was all very passive and brushed over.
Anyways, 3.5 stars rounded down because I’m still dizzy after reading it, this was chaotic....more
I thought this would be Evanna Lynch’s memoir as in, you know, a memoir. Jumping here and there. This happened, that happened, Harry Potter, the sads,I thought this would be Evanna Lynch’s memoir as in, you know, a memoir. Jumping here and there. This happened, that happened, Harry Potter, the sads, Dancing with the Stars, etc. But nope, this was a book about anorexia. Almost 500 pages about Lynch’s struggle with the eating disorder (ED) and ED centers, therapies, and every dark bit about it. There is Harry Potter stuff (and a bit of DwtS), but it’s more related to her mental health and body perception during it than anything else.
Originally, I kind of wrote a whole review just going on and on about my takeaways from the book, but I’ve deleted it. A few days ago I was watching this YouTube video about ED recovery and there was the usual content warning for people who have an ED history but then there was a disclaimer for those who didn’t. I think it went along the lines of “the content of this video will not make sense to you, you’ll think it’s crazy and just be very confused. You should be thankful you don’t understand it.” And that stuck to me because I think some thoughts or patterns are normal, but they aren’t. Even when I talk about some things with friends and I try to explain myself, people don’t get me, and I think this book can be the same for those who have no experiences with anorexia.
Evanna goes the extra mile and doesn’t add specifics about calories, weight, BMIs, or safe/fear foods, which I applaud ( this is very different from my experience reading I'm Glad My Mom Died which shared bulimia tips). But I do think the book can be triggering for people who may relapse. There is a lot of talk about the comfort of anorexia and being friends with ‘the voice of anorexia.’ So tread carefully. I did find the book beautiful and Evanna seems very self-aware of what her anorexia did to her, her family, and how it almost messed up her dreams. My favorite bits that I do want to mention were that she says anorexia is a problem not a person to explain why she rejects the word ‘anorexic.’ I liked that. And the other thing is that she has a physical passion that gives her a reason to fuel her body and not punish it which I found powerful.
I’m giving it four stars because three ‘negatives.’ 1) The J.K. Rowling praise. Look, I get it, she’s done good things, but I would have addressed the elephant in the room. 2) Not acknowledging her privilege. She’s been in many centers (one of them a farm with horse riding) and private therapists. When she was in Harry Potter, she was offered paid-for therapies and a PERSONAL CHEF (I’m sorry, I can’t even). She talks about how hard recovery was for her and I can’t avoid thinking, wow, imagine for the rest of us. I’m also privileged to have had my therapies, but I can’t imagine whining about them without acknowledging many people aren't so lucky to have access to them. I just thought it was weird to see her talk/complain about it all when some people can’t even dream of having therapy sessions or supportive people around them. And 3) the dumb thing about when she says she’s asexual and then she’s told to masturbate to check it?? Asexuality doesn’t mean you don’t masturbate ffs, that pissed me off....more
I find the title and the synopsis of this non-fiction book didn’t really match what I’ve read. I thought I was getting into a book about body anxiety I find the title and the synopsis of this non-fiction book didn’t really match what I’ve read. I thought I was getting into a book about body anxiety and food worries, but it ended up being an anti-diet book that heavily features eating disorders (95% of the book is about this). Nothing wrong with that if it weren’t for the constant hammering into these two blanket statements: - Diets don’t work. - You cannot recover from an eating disorder unless you’re a unicorn.
This book was that it was frantic and, for very obvious reasons, it was frustrating. Not because I as a reader felt frustrated, but because the author was angry and frustrated about the topic: diets being a money-making business and eating disorders are just the same. Diets and recovery don’t work because these businesses need clients, they need you to keep coming back.
Do I agree? Maybe. I mean, it is clear that diet organizations (Atkins, Noom, Weight Watchers, and all the silly MLMs) target the vulnerable and they don’t work because they do not educate their users beyond their silly rules. There is little nutrition talk or BMR/calories talk in any of them, just ‘rules’ (i.e., the traffic light rules. Cheese is red and you never eat it, potatoes are yellow so moderation, kale is green so go crazy). But this book does NOT define what a diet is. A diet isn’t necessarily a weight loss diet, a diet is something you eat regularly and it can have more or less restrictions. A healthy diet does not equal a calorie-deficit diet or anything else, but it’s a diet you eat to keep yourself healthy.
What she says isn’t that weight loss diets don’t work, but that people who lose weight with them stop using them and then gain the weight back. Why? Because weight loss diets are a temporary measure but not a lifelong change. You can’t do a traffic light diet forever, but once you’re at a healthy weight you can abandon that and make an informed decision of what to eat. So I think this claim is half-cooked at best.
Now, my bigger issue. Around the 20% mark, she finishes a rant about (weight-loss) diets not working (long term). So she says: “I would never recommend this measure, but what works is eating disorders.” WHUT. Like girlie pop, prephrasing this by saying ‘I would never say this’ but then saying it is just so stupid.
I personally picked up this book because I was looking into a deep dive about body/food anxiety because I am, like her, “recovered-ish.” So I came into this book looking for some way to look at my body differently to accept it or have more info about why so many of us hate our bodies, and what do I get? “Idk if you want to be skinny, eating healthily doesn’t work, but anorexia is great.” Cool. Cool cool cool.
I’m giving this two stars for a simple reason, the second claim: you cannot recover from an eating disorder. Kazdin talks about someone who named her bulimia “Dolores” and when Dolores’ voice gets loud, she just tells her to shut up. And it’s sad, but we always have the thoughts, right? I personally have never met someone who is 100% recovered and it’s sad. And I appreciated that this book talked about the why. Why can’t we heal? Because we are treated through behavioral therapy that doesn’t fix the issue it just treats it. You don’t eat? Here’s a schedule, bye. So you eat by the schedule, but the voice remains. And then again, like a child, she asks why. Why haven’t we figured this out: there is little research (cis white men don’t usually have this, so why research it?), how are doctors going to make money if they find a thing that works, and the comorbidity obsession....more
If The Expanse taught me one thing is to not have favorite characters unless I want to have my heart brokYou have to believe in something. That's all.
If The Expanse taught me one thing is to not have favorite characters unless I want to have my heart broken. I didn’t learn, though, and here I am bawling my eyes out *sigh*
So just from the get-go, this is a very different book from the first two. Of course, it’s the same resistance story, but the Hell gang decides to bite back and it all starts by getting an old friend back (you can guess who, the one who is alive and not in a coma). Rather than doing reconnaissance and looking around for half the book, the gang gets active fast and that leads to a crazy attack and the absolute dumpster fire of an aftermath that follows.
We finally get to see a bit more of the interaction between invaders and working crews, how the invaders operate, the underground radios, and the Kiwis (like I got emotional at this one line: "Good luck, kids. Take care over there. We're with you a hundred per cent, you know that").
We also see the group dynamic change. Homer is losing his Homer-ness (I want it back please and thank you), Robyn is a goddamn valkyrie (and she also develops an eating disorder), Fi starts getting her shit together, Lee gets colder, and Ellie just grows. It may be because we’re reading Ellie’s recollection of things but I feel so much for her. There’s one bit where she makes a big thing without even thinking about it, just because it’s the thing to do. Book 1 or Book 2 Ellie wouldn’t have done that.
I also want to re-emphasize this doesn’t feel like a YA book. This is so dark. Like sure, jokes here and there (i.e., Kevin describes a bomb like “bigger than a fart in a bathtub”) and there’s been a (dying) romance, but for the most part, it’s harrowing and scary.
I want to pace myself reading this series or I’ll just snort them like coke but that ending?? I wonder what’s going to happen in the coming books. ...more
I’ll preface this by saying I don’t like reviewing books about disordered eating, but this one rattled me a bit because it felt problematic in a senseI’ll preface this by saying I don’t like reviewing books about disordered eating, but this one rattled me a bit because it felt problematic in a sense.
Overall, I think I liked it. It was very strong in the beginning when it focused on what triggers anorexia and what anorexia is - not a need to be skinny to look like a model, but to be and look sick, to waste away, to disappear. I think I had never seen it written as strongly as Freeman did. And while I don’t think this explains everyone’s experience with anorexia, it was good to see.
I also liked that she took time to define anorexia types and I wish she had explained more about them because in my healthcare system, you’re either anorexic (you don’t eat), bulimic (you throw up), or you’re a binge eater. I’m not sure I feel conflicted about her writing but I am at her choice of definitions. In her book, Freeman describes anorexic as purgative (you throw up) or restrictive (you don’t eat) and both of them are anorexia as long as the individual wants to be thin. Then, people who throw up but have a healthy weight, are bulimics… Is it this way? Like I am not sure, but I think this is putting thinness on a pedestal. Why am I saying pedestal? Well, I don’t know, at least in my experience (and this is something she sort of indirectly mentions) there is a disordered eating hierarchy and restrictive anorexics are usually on top (again, not something I personally believe in, but coming from my experience). So saying that underweight bulimics and healthy-weight bulimics are different seems problematic to me. I think I don’t make much sense on this but Ro Mitchell talks about anorexia not being a body type and how invalidating it is for people with the disease to be ‘body typeized’ (?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3a5E... (min 16ish if anyone is actually curious)
I didn’t enjoy her explanation as to why she focuses on white women in this book. I get that men are a minority in the anorexic community and that other ethnicities seek treatment for bulimia and binge eating rather than anorexia, but I think it would have enriched the book more to have more experiences.
This is because, well, the book seems to tell her story of anorexia and addiction to work out because of it, and how she dealt with it in the eating disorder centers. This, I think it’s like fair game to talk about. Same with interviewing people and stuff. But other topics had me scrunching my nose: theorizing about gender dysphoria and how ‘girls get anorexia because they don’t want to become women and have sex’ seemed problematic? And bear with me but she mentions a few times how restrictive anorexia destroys your body but then she linked ‘not wanting to have sex’ as something that’s a decision. Again, in my experience and from what I have heard, when you’re restricting your hormones do something or other and your libido is pretty much non-existent (and that’s simultaneous to many other reasons why someone may not want to have sex, such as showing your body, exertion when you’re already light-headed AF, etc.).
All the stuff about transsexuality and autism was not needed in my opinion. I actually ended up taking three tests (!!!) to see if I’m autistic or have autistic traits or whatever that was, and I think it’s just a misrepresentation of just everything? I mean, I guess sure, some restrictive anorexics like patterns and obeying others, but it seems like a stretch to say that means we’re anywhere near the autistic spectrum (especially because this also felt like she was theorizing). Also putting men who treat eating disorders in a bad light was sort of��� uncalled for. That’s something I could not be like ‘ah, yeah, all men are creeps,’ at least in my experience, so I don’t think it’s fair to write a whole chapter about how men in the ED field tend to be creeps and maybe even glorify thinness.
I think this book just shows that anorexia needs to be more researched in general, which Freeman says, because we’re just treating comorbidities and not all of us have comorbidities to treat. But this book felt like ‘since I cannot talk about treatment because it’s all comorbidities, I’ll theorize about everything and anything.’ And it didn’t sit well with me....more
I finished this at an airport and I'll take it as a sign that it deserves a rushed review and nothing else.
Blergh. I need to stop judging books by theI finished this at an airport and I'll take it as a sign that it deserves a rushed review and nothing else.
Blergh. I need to stop judging books by their cover.
Anyways: - Girl has a name, probably, but everyone calls her Piglet. - She is getting married to a man that, a few days before their wedding, confesses he's done A THING. Everyone knows what he's done. EVERYONE (just kidding, lol. not us, the reader is never told). Here is my theory: (view spoiler)[cheating is so basic. I think he had an Instagram account and posted things he drew on his butt cheeks. Or maybe he photoshopped himself with Nigella Lawson and honestly who wouldn't.(hide spoiler)] - Piglet is obsessed with making a croquembouche the morning of her wedding. Do I care? No. - Lots of (uninteresting) family drama. - Drama with a pregnant best friend and I failed to empathize with the main character at all. - Lots of food (and beautiful doses of Nigella Lawson - the mee-croh-wah-veh queen).
I do think the 'mystery' about the husband was a very interesting decision and if I had given half a damn about the book, I would have thought it was brilliant. But it just ended up in the pile of 'things I could not get paid enough to care about.'...more
Good Enough is the story of a 12 year old girl with anorexia in an ED recovery clinic. It sort of reminded me of the movie To The Bone because of the Good Enough is the story of a 12 year old girl with anorexia in an ED recovery clinic. It sort of reminded me of the movie To The Bone because of the social aspect that really shone through the book (without the weirdass inane scene, iykyk).
Anyways, it was a good read and it was sort of weird to see someone name disordered thoughs Ed (he/him) instead of Ana (she/her). It took me a while to get used to it. The only bit that I’m not happy about is how recovery is portrayed, like a journey that takes months and sometimes years and then poof, you’re gucci. But it’s a middle-grade book, I’ll cut it some slack.
I also thought Riley had amazing qualities: her hate for mayo, her LOVE for running and pop-tarts. Girl, I’m right there with you.
Not running feels wrong. It makes my body feel wrong. My legs feel heavy, like they’re weighed down. Like if I jumped into a pool, I’d sink to the very bottom. I’d drown.
Also, I should have read this when I broke my ankle because this sentence reminded me of the time: “But if running so much has put you in the hospital, don’t you think taking a break might actually be healthy?”...more
Megan Kamalei Kakimoto is one of these authors that you read once and then you wait forever for them to write something else. Her writing is exquisiteMegan Kamalei Kakimoto is one of these authors that you read once and then you wait forever for them to write something else. Her writing is exquisite, devastating, and at times morbid. I’m not someone who seeks good writing, but this blew my mind.
The stories were quirky but they had a strange undertone I can’t really pinpoint, like I felt violated - as a woman that has this place in society, as a woman that has periods, violated like a community that has outside presence, violated because the US is bombing the islands and no one can’t do anything but stare. It’s also strange because while I love me my feminism, the stories had a lot of explicitly sexy things that I usually hate. But I didn’t mind it at all, I think it added to this strange undertone.
- ‘A Catalogue of Kānaka Superstitions, as Told by Your Mother’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐. This one was interesting and it progressively hits harder. It’s, as the title indicates, a catalogue of superstitions that a mother shares with her daughter. Some of them show up later on in other stories which was cute as well. - ‘Every Drop Is a Man’s Nightmare’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. Okay, if ANYONE read this, they would think I’d give it 1 star. But it was good. It’s about a chubby girl who lives with her mom and her stepdad. She gets her first period and then we see her fall in love, marry, get an eating disorder, and then become pregnant. The ending was brutal. All of it was brutal. I loved it. - ‘Story of Men’. ⭐⭐⭐. The dryer breaks. Inside, there’s a baby. Wait, it’s not a baby. Well, let’s adopt it and see how the family reacts to it. It was cool. - ‘Temporary Dwellers’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. Kaua‘i is being bombed and the narrator’s mother brings a girl from their home as a charity case. The two girls fall in love, go to high school together, and start caring about how the US is destroying Kaua‘i. Just an amazing story. Lots of food for thought and criticism against what the US military has done to Hawaii. - ‘Madwomen’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. A woman has had a hapa son because she had a relationship with a haole (a foreigner). She tells him a made-up story about a madwoman who kills around the sea. This was such a bittersweet story. I felt the woman loved Toby, but as the story moved forward, I thought she regretted him. She felt like she wasn’t enough too. It was really good. - ‘Ms. Amelia’s Salon for Women in Charge’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. Waxing is expensive, but Amelia doesn’t charge money, she takes personality traits. So quirky. - ‘Hotel Molokai’. ⭐⭐⭐. A girl goes with her grandma to touch the penis stone so she can get pregnant later on. She misses her mom. It was okay. - ‘Aiko, the Writer’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. Aiko has been told time and time again that she must never write about the Night Watchers. But she does. And now the manuscript is… vibrating. The Night Watchers are watching her. Like, this sounds so ominous, but it was such a quiet slow story. Still awesome. - ‘Some Things I Know About Elvis’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐. Lol okay so this girl goes on a Tinder date and her day is suddenly infested (that is the word) by Elvis impersonators. Hilarious. Also about friendships that we want to keep and worry about. - ‘Touch Me Like One of Your Island Girls: A Love Story’. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. Again, a story about old friends that turn into acquaintances. But also about an island girl that goes to an audition for a porno and gets the job. This was quirky and it was meaningful and it was awesome. - ‘The Love and Decline of the Corpse Flower’. ⭐⭐⭐ and a half. Grandma is dead and someone’s brought a huge stinky corpse flower for her. Now the narrator has to keep it. Or has she? And, did I mention the corpse flower is alive? I hated reading it but the ending made it worth it. It was sort of anticlimactic, I didn’t expect it and I went ‘oh’ out loud when it ended.
I’m so looking forward to picking her up again!
Favorite bits: Every Drop Is a Man’s Nightmare Her step-uncles have grown fond of calling her the garbage disposal—she’ll mop your food scraps clean, if you let her. This isn’t the worst she’s heard about her body. — She learns too much about her culture, things she wishes to unknow. She reads that in the high days of the ali‘i, wāhine ka wā haumia, or bleeding women, were regarded with a reverence otherwise reserved for royalty. They were kapu in a different way, a way that safeguarded their menstruation rather than debased it, so much so that the bleeding wāhine were isolated in the hale pe‘a for the duration of their monthly period. The separation between men and women was enforced by a strict kapu—however long the menstruation lasted, the bleeding wāhine and their kāne were to exist in separate physical spaces. Anything less was shameful, pīlau, not because the women were indecent creatures, but rather because the women were gods. — How can anyone expect a bride to know how for enjoy unless she resembles a skeleton of herself? She stops eating meat, tells herself and others it’s for the wedding entirely, and while this is true, there’s something else, too, a hesitation.
Madwomen I lay a soft Hawaiian quilt over Toby’s lap and knit a tress of his whispy hair between my fingers while an old Jason Bourne film animates from the television. For a while I proposed Pixar movies, shows on the Disney Channel, PAW Patrol, and that Irish animated series with the child veteranarian who nurses anthropomorphic toys. None of it took. But Matt Damon scaling buildings as a CIA assassin riddled with amnesia? This shit captivates Toby like nothing else.
Aiko, the Writer Because if she were being honest, she hadn’t felt safe in Hawai‘i for a long time. The island was like a twisted and perverted organ whose guts had spoiled long ago. Today, haoles outnumbered kānaka ‘ōiwi one hundred to one. She knew few folks who still practiced the old traditions, idolized akua, revered and heeded the superstitions of generations past. What’s worse, they were all better for it. Her relatives who’d conformed to the ways of the white residents had made themselves rich. Impossibly, they purchased their homes. Some even had an expanding 401(k) about which to brag at family gatherings. Reverse assimilation, then, seemed the only fighting way forward....more
I hadn't heard of Jennette McCurdy prior to this book and I think the hype made me have higher expectations than I should've had, so maybe this has imI hadn't heard of Jennette McCurdy prior to this book and I think the hype made me have higher expectations than I should've had, so maybe this has impacted how I ended up liking the book. It's very triggering when it comes to eating disorders and with terrible parenthood - from her mother's side, but it feels mostly like an exhibition. Other memoirs I have picked up, sort of have the author reflecting on the past and how much they have grown; this is not the case here. I thought it would be funnier (because of how it has been marketed) and yet it was just a tough, under-edited, and repetitive read that felt a bit pointless. I have watched McCurdy on a few interviews after the publication and it made me feel this would be more introspective than what I encountered.
Particularly, I think this book has been very adamant in letting the audience know it dealt with eating disorders. I found some bits very triggering and, to a degree, I just feel it taught tips and didn't really dwell on the benefits of recovery at all. Not something I'd put out as is, I don't know.
Also, this is something I noticed during the Amber Heard - Johnny Depp trial but are all narcissists abusers? I feel this book kind of continues the narrative following McCurdy's mother's example, but I feel it's a bit extreme to just say 'I'm glad she's dead because she's a narcissist and therefore she is an abuser' (at the end of the book she makes reference to a causal link that I feel may be too general). ...more
Alright, alright. Is this book good? Probably not. Is this a fun book? Hell yeah. I’m giving it 3.5 stars because it’s chaotic, messy, repetitive, andAlright, alright. Is this book good? Probably not. Is this a fun book? Hell yeah. I’m giving it 3.5 stars because it’s chaotic, messy, repetitive, and too confusing at points, but it was so damn fun.
Paul’s digging holes in his backyard trying to fix something in his house when, ta-dah, he finds a weirdass looking door that is creepy and shouldn’t be there. The door’s giving him the heebie jeebies but his good pal Jay comes to the rescue with his lockpicking skills and a ladder… and down the door they go. What they find below is some sort of labyrinth: the same exact room over and over and over again. And, oh, the ladder? Gone. They are in the Between and everyone in the Between has a specific role… until they get killed.
This was hella fun and original. I didn’t quite understand why it was inspired by video games (other than the ‘roles’) until the twist happened and I LOVED it. The pacing was super fast and the characters were fun. I do admit that it was messy and confusing, but it was just a blast to read. I loved Supriya - a one-legged cancer survivor who does bodybuilding and is a goddamn valkyrie if you ask me. Jay is fun; Min-Woo is a nerd and I adore him; Paul is as interesting as a wet piece of cardboard; and I didn’t care about Skull Girl much until she explained her background story and then ...more
TW: eating disorders (all of them! ranked!), physical abuse/domestic violence, self-harm, alcoholism, rape (and a cult? thing?)
There is so much going TW: eating disorders (all of them! ranked!), physical abuse/domestic violence, self-harm, alcoholism, rape (and a cult? thing?)
There is so much going on in here. I don't even know if I liked it or not but I'm giving it 4 stars because it is relevant and it did not romanticize disordered eating. Also, I find it fun when books about eating disorders bring up the "ED ranking" (aka: anorectics "are better" than bulimics; this is something that I can guarantee is a thing and it causes tension and drama in ED recovery groups lol).
Anyhow, yeah, I don't recommend this to everybody unless you 1) have no emotions, 2) can compartmentalize and "forget" about stuff easily, or 3) you're in for a weird, sad, problematic ride. Absolutely not for people who may relapse into disordered eating or get worst with it (I personally am at a better place now and this book and how it presents anorexia made me feel it is gross, but that may not be everyone's case so tread carefully)....more
Natalie is uncomfortable with her body and she struggles with binge-eating disorder. One day, she quits her job and goThis was so therapeutic to read.
Natalie is uncomfortable with her body and she struggles with binge-eating disorder. One day, she quits her job and goes to travel the world. The book is very much like watching a butterfly get out of the cocoon - she learns to love herself, find her voice, take care of her body, leave disordered eating behind, drop toxic friendships that keep her negative, and embrace a new passion: fitness.
As I just said before, this was a therapeutic read for me. The story is told in snippets as Natalie is a wreck. Uncomfortable, self-conscious, inactive, carrying shame and hate like a heavy backpack. We see this in very awkward chapters when she's in Bali and then Australia visiting an aunt. It is truly during her work away experience in Wellington, NZ, that we see her become something else - she's taking care of herself, saying no to what she doesn't need, and seeing beyond her own self. And then we move back to the countryside in Ireland and eventually Peru, Amsterdam, and back to Dublin.
It was a beautiful story. I can honestly say this. It was awkward and weird at places, it felt both realistic and very much not so at times, but travelling is like that. I entertain people by telling them crazy hostel stories I've had (men peeing over whoever was in the lower bunk, me throwing a 'do not disturb sign' to a drunk Russian guest, me having to go to a police station in Korea because of a shoe robber that stole an expensive pair of Jordans... etc. Hostels are crazy, and they're great, and this book felt like a love story to these crazy encounters, but also about how travelling shapes you.
Other than travelling, I mean. Yes, yes. If you know me, you know I constantly joke about quitting what I'm doing to either open a gym or work at a gym. Working out made me feel comfortable(ish) with a body that I've never liked. And Natalie's story is one in which we see someone who hates her body, feels shame about it, accepts it and embraces fitness. This is not a weight loss story and Natalie never diets in here, but she starts taking care of her body and she likes it at the end. And she does the most with it. She follows her dream (and my dream) and honestly, the last page had me in tears.
When I talk about body positivity, I mean this. I recently read Lifting Heavy Things: Healing Trauma One Rep at a Time where the author also doesn't have the 'body you'd expect' from a professional powerlifter, and the same can go for the author of Fatty Fatty Boom Boom: A Memoir of Food, Fat, and Family. I find it beautiful that more people are coming out and rejecting toxic fitness culture (which we see in Skin with toxic trainers and toxic gyms) and are moving on to considering a healthy body one that performs.
Anyways, I'll wrap it up. This was a great read. Loved it. 4.5 stars.
Three bits I highlighted for whatever reason: If I hosted something, who’d come? No one, probably. Paper plates with slices of birthday cake are passed around. I take one, then another, and decide to never throw a party.
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‘Travel forced me to be my own friend because it was too fucking lonely not to be.’
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‘But it’s daft.’ ‘Why?’ ‘I don’t know. I’m not in good enough shape to be doing this work.’ ‘Who says?’ I’m silent. Who did say?...more
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